Gimme’ grace while I wait

I told myself I wouldn’t be like this, this time. That I wouldn’t torture myself the last few weeks of pregnancy with when he will come. Here I am to tell you so far I have failed.

To be honest y’all I have been a pretty emotional mess these past couple weeks.

I have no real reason to be sad but I would be lying if I didn’t share that day to day has been a struggle for me.

I am tired, I am huge and uncomfortable and super emotionally sensitive. Everything makes me cry, and I just want to meet my fricken baby!!

Don’t worry, think grown up hissy fit rather than depression; I am going to be okay y’all. This is just what 37 weeks looks like and maybe the sooner I come to terms with that the better off I will be.

Earlier in my pregnancy I had sworn he would come early, and my midwife was saying the same thing and now that I am at the end I realize how stupid that was of me.. My due date is the 25th so I potentially have at least 21 more days to wait; so that is now what I am telling myself.

Every mom I have asked for tips on how to handle the end of pregnancy, super emotional waiting game has told me, “you just have to wait, it sucks” Gah you’re tellin’ me! A few small things that have been helping me are positive affirmations every day, “I am grateful to be pregnant, I will miss this time” etc, thinking of it as only 21 days left with my family the way it is rather than just 21 days still pregnant. I have also tried to stay busy and continue to plan regular life as if this baby is never coming.

I know my pregnant days are numbered, I know I will miss this time, I know I should actively be trying to be present as much as possible. But I wanted to share this post to remind myself and anyone else that might find themselves in this spot- that it’s hard to do all those things; and you deserve grace. Some afternoons all I have energy for is sitting on the couch with my toddler watching trolls and knitting and I am making that okay.

The supplies are ready, the house is clean(24/7), my parent orientation has passed, baby’s clothes and diapers are washed, etc etc. After our oldest’s birthday celebration next weekend everything that needs to get done will be done. So this week I am taking baby girl to the beach, enjoying a day by myself, going on a date with hubby, cleaning out my car, and literally anything else I can do to stay busy.

21 more days, I got this right?

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