I know I recently said I would be back and I would document more of my pregnancy through the podcast as well as post a couple episodes but…. pregnancy with a toddler and working full time turned out to be a taller order than I thought..
Lately I have been called to do more personal blogging but probably still take a break from the podcast, for now. A lot has changed since my last update so I will do my best to not be all over the place with this post.
I am officially 35 weeks today! Although there has been talk about other due dates because of his size and original dating ultrasound. So I could technically be 36 weeks at this point but she doesn’t want to officially change my due date unless we need to if he comes “early”. Dates don’t really matter, babies come when they come. But for us they matter a small amount logistically because I cannot deliver at home until I am 37 weeks. Although I am trying to keep telling myself that I have 5 more weeks so that I don’t get my hopes up on him coming at a certain time.
Which brings me to our first big change; we are having a home birth! I have posted about it briefly on instagram but I think last blog post I was talking about my midwives at the hospital still. Around 20 weeks I had this strange encounter with one of the midwives of the practice at the hospital (who could potentially deliver the baby) Although the head midwife was great at meeting my concerns I still had this nagging feeling in the back of my head that it wasn’t the right choice to stay there. I brought up the idea to my doula and she encouraged me to look into it and interview home birth midwives. I have low risk pregnancies so I made a really good candidate. I had looked into a home birth for Zelda but it was not in the financial cards for us because we were also planning a wedding. Insurance doesn’t cover home births which was the main thing keeping me from jumping in all the way as soon as I had the idea again this time around. But as soon as we met our midwife, Amber I knew it was the right thing to do and we decided to do everything we could to make it work financially. I realized that what I really needed this time around after Zelda’s birth was a practitioner I trusted( so that If I did have to be transferred I would know it was absolutely necessary) I also needed somewhereI felt safe, and I needed to lay in my own damn bed afterwards. It sounds so silly but the idea of getting to shower, change into my own clothes and climb into my bed with my husband and new baby sounded like (still does honestly, I am so excited) absolute bliss.
So at 22 weeks in we made the switch to a home birth midwife and never looked back with any regret. This was a pretty big deal for me because at this point I felt like we were so far in it was too “late” to change but it is not too late, it is pretty much never too late. Follow your gut about all things but especially about who you share the privilege of childbirth with.
Everything chugged along nicely. My pregnancy has been “nice and boring” as they say. I was diagnosed anemic at around 28 weeks but have been taking a nasty iron supplement ever since and she doesn’t seem overly concerned about it. My blood pressure, sugar levels, and weight gain have all been perfectly healthy and it looks like we are still on track for a home birth as long as nothing changes!
It feels a bit surreal honestly. Knowing as much about birth as I do now thanks to The Birth Hour, and all the reading I have been doing.. I had scared myself into every possibility this pregnancy when last time around I was living in pure ignorant bliss. I felt scared and high risk most of the time although I was never once high risk.. It is a strange thing to explain. Maybe I just wanted things to go “well” this time so badly I was trying to prepare my self for all the other possibilities. I have since walked myself through all of these fears and I can honestly say (other than the unpredictability of when he will come really bothering my inner control freak) I have no fears going into this labor. I am actually completely excited to go into labor and be in labor this time around. Even if I do end up with a hospital transfer or a c-section, or anything honestly; I know I will be okay and that is just the way he needs to come into the world.
Another exciting thing that happened in the past couple months is I just got back a couple weeks ago from my Waldorf teacher certification training. Three weeks aways from my family while super pregnant and learning some really intense stuff and sitting in classes all day. My school is helping support this endeavor financially but we are also paying a lot out of pocket for it. What can I say we just do crazy things while we are having babies ie: teacher training, plan a wedding. So we are pretty strapped around here but our lives and hearts are so full I have never felt more confident in our decisions. All of this will be so worth it.
I wanted to talk a little about body image with this pregnancy but that might have to wait for a whole other post, this one is getting pretty long.
I am taking the next few weeks to prepare my classroom for school before my maternity leave, get the last few ducks in a row for the birth, and spend as much time with my family of 4 in our last few days just as we are.
Something else we are doing differently this time around (me specifically) is really setting hard boundaries around my post-partum period. I love and appreciate all of our friends and family but with Zelda’s birth I was up and at em’ two days after she was born and I never really laid in. Our doula suggested we send Zelda with a family friend when I go into labor to stay in as much of her normal routine as possible (having a baby brother when you’re 2 is hard enough as it is) and she stay with them for 4 days. This gives us a chance to rest, check in with all our care providers (home visits from the midwife, doula, lactation consultant) and just really enjoy some one on one time with our last baby. This was really hard for me to agree to because there was a part of me that of course really wanted Zelda at the birth, but above all I wanted to do what was best for her and knowing what I know about child development I knew this would be the best thing for her. I also really wanted to take the time to force myself to rest. I get twelve weeks off work that I know will fly by and I want to make myself enjoy them as much as possible. This also means family, and Julia will probably have to wait as well. They probably won’t be the happiest about this but I really think it is the best thing we can do for us, and the girls. I want to be as sensitive to them in this transition as possible even if that means making some tough calls. So that means just me, my hubby, and our new baby in our bed for 4 days. I will also probably unplug completely a couple weeks into August so we don’t get all the “Baby yet?!” messages. This is not to say this is the right approach for everyone but it definitely is for us and I know the people that love and respect us will respect our decision.
So we have the home birth midwife, we have the doula, and we even now have a birth photographer. His clothes and diapers are washed, the birth supplies are almost all completely together; everything is ready for him as soon as he is ready. Sage August I can’t wait to meet you sweet boy.